Beating Winter Blues

Beating Winter Blues

I think I speak with most northerners when I say that we’re ready for Spring and when I say spring I mean no snow.

Sometimes the weather forgets that spring is supposed to mean flowers and warmer temperatures and not just a second winter.

Image result for second winter meme

Also side note can we talk about how quotable Lord of the Rings is?

My husband insisted when we were dating that I watch all the EXTENDED Lord of the Rings movies without looking at my cell phone at all. Honestly it was a good idea.

Now if he’d only get on the mean girls train…..

Image result for you can't sit with us

Anyway back to my original thought I’ve decided to day dream about our upcoming summer plans.

Hubby and I may be taking our first long road trip to go to one of my best friends Weddings and I’m kind of living for it.

Also slightly concerned about the play list situation.

Aaaa and the farmers markets being open again, live outdoor music, your face not hurting when you walk out the door.

The typical winter day dreams.

I’ve also been daydreaming about laying in the sun and then realizing that I’m Irish and by nature my skin doesn’t appreciate me trying to tan.

My beyond favorite part about summer, and I’m not sure if everyone shares this experience, is when you’ve spent the entire day (or let’s be honest, a few hours) in the sun and you get home, shower, and lay down to go to sleep. It’s like at that moment everything is perfect. That is the most content feeling to me.

Honestly that moment after you’ve laid in bed and before you fall asleep has always been my favorite moment. Anything that’s happened from the day is over. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. The worries of tomorrow are still a sleep away and at that moment your life has endless possibilities. You want to dream about Paris. You go girl. Cancun? go for it.

awesome-dream-memes-6

 

1310718375503617070517

Advertisements
You Are in Control

You Are in Control

I’ve been talking to my mom about this for a few days and I realized it changes our mind set so much when we change our perspective from what is happening to us versus what we are doing to ourselves.

We tend to harp on a lot of things in our life that stink, our finances, our job, our relationships, our weight.

“I would love to do xyz but I’m too old for that”

“I would love to lose the weight but I don’t have the time, or this is just how I am, my metabolism sucks”

“I would love to get a new job but I’ve been at mine so long I can’t start over”
“I hate the snow, every winter I get so depressed but this is unfortunately the miserable climate I was put into”

All of these situations are within our control but for some reason we like to pretend that we have nothing to do with them.

Are any of them easy fixes?

No

But they’re changeable.

Let’s be honest age is a frame of mind, you’re only going to be able to do what your mind tells you that you can do.

I do this ALL the time.

I want to lose weight……..but Cheetohs…..

Guys! Cheetohs are a real struggle!

That being said I’m not an idiot I know eating a family size bag of Cheetohs isn’t going to help aid in my weight loss unless doing so ends up in a diuretic type of GI response which to be honest might happen.

My lack of weight loss is 100% on me and my choices, but do I admit that to myself most of the time? Of course not.

It’s my body type I’m just curvy by nature.

To be honest somewhat true, but does “it being my body type” mean that I can’t get healthy? I can’t work out and eat healthy?

Of course not.

We self sabotage before we even have a chance. Which is awful and I hate it.

At some point we were told that we weren’t good enough for abc and we accepted that.

Someone told me that I was fat and I will always be fat, so my goals are immediately deflated by that thought even if I don’t realize it.

Why workout and eat healthy you’re always going to be fat?

Why put forth any effort you’re never going to be good enough?

You won’t look like that person.

Do you think if someone told you that you were stupid because of these reasons and you began to believe you were in fact stupid that you would ever end up in medical school?

Probably not because even if that were your dream you would see it, think that you would never be able to do it and then you wouldn’t make it happen.

I just want you to know.

You are good enough.

You can achieve all of your goals.

You are worthy of those achievements.

Don’t let anyone tell you what your limits are.

Image result for unlimited wicked

Side note if you sang that quote above, we’re now best friends please react accordingly!

Cómo también diría Dísney: "si puedes soñarlo puede hacerlo" a luchas por sus sueños!! Feliz noche!! #panama #pty #allsport #road #quotes #caminos #mind #hope #peace

1310718375503617070517

Meals

Meals

You know what I hate?

Meal Planning

Meal Prepping

Meals

I’m just saying if we could just snack indefinitely I’d be a happy camper.

However I got married and I’ll tell you what, this guy prefers “meals”.

Apparently eating Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner is a thing guys tend to like to do and I’m just telling you I’m not for it.

You know what else I dislike?

Meal “Qualifications”

I lived my adult life 18-26 thinking if I ate something around a specific time of day that was my meal. Apparently No.

My 6’2 husband has specific things in his mind that make a “meal”.

A salad with some cheese and chick  peas, not a meal. Throw some chicken in there, now it becomes a acceptable meal.

Coming from a person who’s ordered chicken Caesar salads her whole life and never eaten the entire thing or touched the chicken this qualification seems silly.

If I had my way I would live off from “snacks”, smoothies and protein shakes however you get married and eventually have kids and everyone expects you to eat like an “adult”.

Also I’m not buying this whole a salad without meat is a snack business!

Disclaimer

I would like to point out that my husband does not make me make him dinner, tell me it’s my rightful place as the person with the uterus in the relationship to belong in the kitchen, or do anything else chauvinistic however we “split” the meal’s during the week (aka he cooks and I pretend) and I’m working on getting better at meal planning and not grubhubbing.

Grubhub I see you and I know that you’re robbing me.

However no I do not want to pick up my own food.

I am LAZY which is why I called you.

Not this week! Not on my night to make dinner! We will eat PB&J’s before I admit defeat!

Okay and honestly I feel like a PB&J is a fine dinner.

Just saying.

All this blog post is meant to do is to stall before I go look at Pinterest perfect meals and try to throw together some type of gluten piece masterpiece plan for this weeks meals.

By starting this process on Friday night I hope to have it completed for our grocery run on Sunday.

1310718375503617070517

Humble Brag

Humble Brag

So I suck at blogging I get that but today my husband was adorable and I wanted to remember it, but at the same time it seemed weird to brag about on Facebook?

Plus I want to blog more!

Granted I kind of suck at it but you know what new year new me!…….wait it’s almost March…….New season new me!

BACK TO THE POINT

(Literally my brain is so all over the place)

Today my husband and I went to get groceries, we walk out after getting the groceries to a group of people watching the rain downpour hoping it will let up and they will be able to walk out without getting drenched. Hubs and I are no babies so I silently realize i’m going to get an unplanned shower in the rain. Out of no where my 6’2 husband drops his baseball hat on my head and we venture out into the rain.

……That split second decision to take care of me…….

I’m sorry that’s some romantic crap you guys! Like Nicholas Sparks must be shaking!

I just love him so much ❤

(My husband……not Nicolas Sparks.)

1310718375503617070517

 

Cow

Cow

Now first before I even start, normally I would prefer to be called an elephant because let’s just be real, I’m build way more like an elephant than a cow. I swear my legs and butt and an elephants legs and butt are an obvious comparison. I realize that and embrace it. *cheers to the curves*

I feel it’s very on trend at the moment. *cheers to you Kim K*

**also not comparing Kim K’s butt to an elephant, but she is workin’ that pear shape!**

Today I was volunteering with my sister in law at my best friends dance recital for her dance company. 

It’s fine I enjoy taking people’s money. 

This separated couple had a discrepancy about the wife leaving tickets for her husband and who with.

*Spoiler* she didn’t leave a ticket with either of us.

When he asked her which of us she left the ticket with she said “I didn’t leave it with either of those cows”

*she ended up leaving it with the teens passing out programs, which makes zero sense but you go glen coco*

Now she said this to him over the phone and then he told us.

Which sir, like I appreciate you wanting to incorporate us in the fun of your ex wife and said adventures but I could have gone without the insult.

The last time anyone compared me to an animal I was about 18 and my boyfriend at the time asked me what it was like being a whale. Yeah I kid you not like no joking just to be a d-bag. Which can I just say I’ve dated some hot guys in my day…..athletic, built, good looking……this dude was not one of them. The only reason I mention that is because….don’t throw stones when you live in a glass house…..or that witty quote (you know where I’m going with that). Also note EX boyfriend.

*kudos girl for breaking that one off, close call*

So I learned 2 things, people insult other people to feel better about themselves. Because what else do you have to gain with insulting 2 girls you literally didn’t even say a word to, and 2 I don’t think it’s cool that people calling you an animal is supposed to be an insult.

Cows are freakin’ awesome lady step off.

 1310718375503617070517.png

Weight Loss, Self Loss

Weight Loss, Self Loss

My entire life, or so it seems, has revolved around weight loss. I can get this when I lose this. Summer is going to be the best because I’m going to be skinny. New school year new me. Well seeing as I’m 26 and still struggling with my weight I would say it’s safe to assume those goals did not get achieved. But something more goes intertwined with weight loss, self confidence, sense of self and your personality.

Being raised with a father who was overweight as a child and still struggling as an adult and a mother who was 90 pounds 5’8 her entire life until she had babies set me up for a weird relationship with food. I know I know don’t blame parents for everything and I’m not trying to but I feel like it adds to my history. I was told by my father that I didn’t have any friends because I was overweight and didn’t I want to fit in with other people? Didn’t I want to be friends with the perfect skinny neighbor kids? Side note, no they kind of sucked and were totally mean so no I didn’t give 2 craps about hanging out with the snobby kids and the ones that I wanted to hang out with I did. I was taken to Weight Watchers with my mother when I was too young to join so I got a doctors note saying I could. This was supposed to teach us about how to have a good relationship with food but it taught me you get rewarded for losing weight and disappointments when you didn’t. I also would buy clothes and try stuff on and my mom would tell me that we had to focus on losing weight because in a few years I was going to want guys to like me and I would care about my body (since at 10 you don’t care about your body?). I remember sitting in the laundry room in 2nd grade with my mom grabbing my fat roll and saying I wish I could just cut this off and be done.

My mother was raised by an anorexic women who never admitted a problem. She would give her family tiny portions and people could get seconds. My mother has a bigger build than most of her family so she would always complain of being hungry and ask for a sandwich after dinner. When my mom was in the midst of struggling with her weight she talked to her mom and her mom advised her to have small snacks throughout the day like a square of a graham cracker. My mom would want to go visit her mom and each time she did her mom would comment on her weight and then next time say well how about you lose 10 pounds and then come out and that can be our little celebration. To this day I don’t think my grandmother can have a family visit without noticing someones weight. But you can’t fault her for that, that’s the disorder.

My relationship with weight and food has always been abnormal.

I found an app that lets you photoshop yourself and I think that’s when I hit rock bottom. Give a fat girl an app that she can “fix” herself and that’s like a kid in a candy store. So i went to town, and the pictures are a shocking difference. Granted photoshop is a little wonky when you’re not trained but it was still shocking.

First: THIGHS: oh dear lord my thighs are like my biggest issue. I made them smaller and then kept revisiting them because they weren’t small enough. Then they got too small and that looked stupid so I fixed that.

Next: ARMS oy the flubber of arms! I have to say my arms were the one thing I kept making smaller looking at them and then thinking not small enough.

Then: STOMACH my stomach isn’t a huge issue to me it needs work but it wasn’t like a trigger

Last: BOOBS I made them perkier and bigger because why not?

This app showed me a few things…..even when I thought my body was perfect in the picture it wasn’t. I needed more, better, skinnier, perkier, BETTER.

I have an issue valuing myself not just physically but entirely. I was taught you are your weight and because you’re fat you’re also ugly and a failure. Just automatically.

Why should you try to play sports? You are fat everyone sees that. So you’re only able to do these few things.

I need to lose weight to lose me.

I don’t want to lose weight I want to lose myself, I want to start new.

Now now let’s just be honest we all know that’s not a thing. Losing weight alone doesn’t make you lose all your problems so going to get lap band surgery tomorrow is only going to make me 100% worse because then I would need the skin grafting surgery the boob lifts probably rhinoplasty because really why not?

SO I’ve recommitted and will recommit as often as needed. To choose me. To be who I needed when I was little. To be that inspiring person that loves life and herself. To stop myself every time I walk in public with my flubby arms and think someone’s looking at me or laughing at me. To be in the moment and to love who I am including my chub but knowing that I am not my chub, I’m not anything I don’t want to be. You can change yourself in an instant and I’m sick of living the stereotype that was thrown in my face and forced to wear around.

1310718375503617070517.png

There’s No Glitter

There’s No Glitter

Growing up I used to have a blog called “There’s No Glitter At The Gym” and to be completely honest I forgot all about it, until now.

Thinking about it though growing up being in high school and college you romanticize everything.

When you’re 4 you romanticize school. When you’re 10 you romanticize being a teenager. When you’re a teenager you romanticize relationships, having a car, going to college, and freedom.

Then you become an adult, get married, pay bills and it’s beyond easy to stop dreaming, romanticize anything, get stuck in the daily tasks of being an adult.

I didn’t realize that this happened until I became an adult.

I remember when I was around 17 talking to my Dad and saying “I can’t imagine how people are depressed, life is amazing there’s so much to do, so much to live for” and he responded “Wait until you’re an adult and you have real struggles and real accountability.”

Granted at that point I thought my Dad was just being a Woe Is Me dramatic sort. But honestly he was kind of right. I know teenagers have problems and to be honest a lot more drama than most adults but one thing they don’t for the most part have is 100% accountability. If you are in high school and you don’t do your homework you may get detention, grounded, yelled at, or all of the above.

But when you’re an adult and you don’t pay your mortgage you have no house. You don’t pay your electric you have no electricity. This could get a little repetitive so let’s just summarize and say being an adult has direct repercussions. You do something wrong as an adult you go to prison.

When you’re married (I know I hate to break it to you but…) your husband doesn’t bring you flowers every day (which to be honest would be dumb because flowers last about a week so you’d have a ton of flowers), your husband isn’t the prince charming you dated, he has dirty underwear, he stinks after the gym, he’s not perfect and to be honest neither are you. Being married means being with someone 24/7 for eternity and for some reason we believe that’s going to come with no fights, perfection, and maybe some singing animals at one point but it doesn’t.

And I know 100% what you’re thinking, “Being an adult is hard we get it stop whining.” My point is having stress as an adult, I think, kills your dreams, ambitions and in the end kills your light if you let it.

So to address my 16 year old self, no there is no glitter unless you make it. Very rarely is life going to shower you with love and kindness each day when you walk out of the house. You have to leave with your attitude great, positivity high, and make the best out of everything the world has to give you.

When we decide to be happy, positive and decide to combat the worlds negativity we tend to be nicer to other people which will then make them feel like maybe this life isn’t that awful as well.

I’ve decided that I’m going to turn over a new leaf and make some changes. I’m going to choose happiness. I’m going to choose to dream cast and thing about the future optimistically and not black and white realistically.

I’m not going to get stuck in the repetition of daily life and I’m going to live each day empowering myself and others to be positive. And I think you all should join me in the journey.

signaturedimage